The Gospel

What does it mean?  How do I live as a Christian and what have I committed to?

These are all questions that have haunted me because I have misunderstood all along what this means.  I have seen God as a consultant in helping me to be righteous.  I have wanted righteousness because I felt it would benefit me the most  I wanted it all without having to sacrifice.  I felt like I could manipulate my way into getting everything I wanted and look like a great guy in doing so, all without having to sacrifice. 


The toxin of growing up in "church" is that all the rhetoric is twisted and misunderstood.  Especially through the mind and heart of a pre-pubescent sinner.  Operating from the perspective of getting what I want, when I want it.  The Gospel just gives a way of accomplishing this while being "justified". If I am using the gospel to serve my needs then I am manipulating the death of Christ in order to better my own condition. It is only when I stop caring about my own advancement and become obsessed with knowing and obeying the God of the universe that I actually begin to turn from sin.  When I start sacrificing my reputation, perks, advantages in obedience to God.  It is only then that I have really started to obey.


I am realizing that I am so far from this.  I can only really start following Christ and giving my life, when I become enamored and overwhelmed with his amazing love.  Otherwise I am using it to justify myself, I am using it for my own selfish ambition. People only give their life, out of love, never out of shame. If I am to give my life to Christ it is because I am convinced that he loves me more than I love myself. In doing so I am willing to do everything possible to know him and continually have him present in my thoughts and actions, so that my actions are surrendered to his.  My passions are surrendered to his.  My hopes are surrendered to his. My possessions, my relationships...everything!! I can no longer claim to have my own life, my life must be surrendered to God.


Brothers this is an impossible calling to live out on our own.  We have to really begin to push each other into quietly and radically giving our lives away...every moment of every day.