Why Men Should Read

by Stephen Mansfield | Oct 14, 2014 | Self-Education | 1 Comment

 I lived through a horrible season about a decade ago. The details aren’t important now but the lessons learned during those days of darkness are. Among them is a truth about reading and the condition of my inner being that has proven invaluable: the act of reading reveals the state of my soul.

I first realized this when I tried to read during that horrific time. I found that I couldn’t read for very long or at any great depth. It was as though the pain crept into the space in my soul intended for the words. I was fidgety. I was distracted. The meaning didn’t penetrate. I started dozens of books but finished none of them.

What did I learn from this? If I can’t read, there is something wrong in my soul that requires attention.

All these years later, I’ve learned to use reading as a measuring device for the condition of my heart. If I can’t sit quietly and contently and absorb a book, then I’m in a kind of inner turmoil that is impacting me every minute of every day whether I’ve fully taken notice or not. I should close the book and tend my soul—call the friend and apologize for that misdeed, turn my worries to God, extricate myself from the situation that keeps me in turmoil, cease the striving and the competing, or do whatever else I can to calm the waters of my heart.

It is a simple lesson but it has helped me immensely. It also takes a variety of forms.

If I can’t decide what to read then it usually means that I’m living so fast and so at the surface of life that no topic or theme grabs my heart. This means it’s time to slow down and recover my depth.

If I can only skim news and commentary but can’t dig into a good book at length, then the distractions and the chopping up of my time have taken its toll. It’s time to get alone, shut down the “devices” and force the ever-present world back into its boundaries.

If I find I don’t care about anything I read, then it is likely a wound or an offense has rubbed a callous on my inner life. I’m probably living somewhat robotically and stoically. Others have probably noticed, but it usually takes my tug of war with words on the page for me to figure it out.

And if I can’t find patience for the way various authors tell their stories in varying ways, I’m likely exhibiting this same impatience with any voice but my own in the way I treat those around me.

There are variations in application but the lesson remains the same: reading reveals the soul.

I’ve become so convinced of this truth that I have begun asking my clients to read books as I work with them. Naturally, I ask this because I want them to learn from the wise and successful in their fields. Yet I also know that what surfaces during the act of reading will help us drill down into matters of heart that directly shape leadership, communication and the marshaling of gifts that success requires.

I’ve become a better man, a better Christian, a better husband and a better leader through this small lesson. I’ve watched others do the same. The lesson for you is this: read, read widely, and read constantly. As you do, be sure to take note of what surfaces. It is surfacing at other times, too, and knowing this can help you master yourself and be more effective in every area of your life. Maybe this is part of the meaning of the words, “Read to Lead.”

Stephen Mansfield with Glenn Beck ( Manly Man )

Part 1

Part 2

"What will your verse be?"

Even though it is an apple commercial...I love the imagery with the whitman quote from Dead Poet's Society.....

Stages of Manhood

Stages of Manhood: Are you Unfinished?

I am soaking in so much right now in so many different ways and from so many different sources. It’s crazy and I feel like I’m drowning. However, it’s all for a good cause and I’m looking forward to the result.

Recently, Greg Francis, my upline Diamond, did a talk called “Stages of Manhood”. I have been hearing so much about this talk that I had to listen to it. I hadn’t realized that it was by Greg, but when I found out – I knew it was going to be good. And as usual, he hit a nerve with me.

There’s an author that Greg exposed to me a few years back that really helped me out. The author’s name is John Eldredge – he had written a book that many guys in LTD swear by called Wild At Heart. This book is a great for guys who are looking for help in their life because it explains the three things that a man is after in his life. If you’re a male, and you feel like you have a void in your life that you can’t figure out, then you might want to check out this book.

But here’s a teaser: Half of today’s marriages end in divorce. Why that is is another story. However, many times, that couple has children. Those kids, specifically boys, end up suffering due to that separation. On the surface, it’s hard to see what’s going on. But, boys who don’t have a stable man in their childhood years, often end up living life with a void. Why? Because depriving young boys of a father figure deprives that boy of the knowledge it takes to be a man. And as I can attest and as I’m sure many males of my generation can vouch for as well, there’s just so many guys who just don’t understand why they’re not happy in life. Wild at Heart helps them understand why they’re not happy.

In his talk, Stages of Manhood, Greg talks about levels in life that are mentioned in the book The Way of the Wild Heart. Personally, I think this is a great followup book. In it, John talks about 6 levels of Masculinity. Without completing each level, the male isn’t a complete man – he’s an “unfinished man”.

The Stages of Manhood

Here’s a short description of each of the stages a man has to go through to be finished.

1. Boyhood

In this stage, a male is figuring out how the world works. He’s bumping around and getting high fives by his mentors/father figures. He has all the support that he wants and needs.

2. The Cowboy

In this stage, the unfinished man is looking for his own way in life. He’s still bumping into things, but this is the first time that he gets the opportunity to do things on his own. Many times, a male is going through a lot of first time activities such as getting his drivers license.

3. The Warrior

This is the stage that the man wants to get things done. This is where a male really starts becoming a man. At this point, he’s starting to earn his own and he’s deciding to do things that have meaning. Many times it doesn’t matter what it takes to get things done – he just knows that’s what his life is meant for and he’s not going to take no for an answer.

4. The Lover

Many times this level might overlap with the warrior stage. At this point, the man is realizing the small things in life and what he can bring to others. He’s no longer looking for a girl because he feels incomplete or that he thinks of her as a challenge. He’s looking for her because he wants to add value to her life.

5. The King

This is the point where the man is earning the fruits of his labor. He can teach other men how to be Warriors and can help them learn how to attract others that they want to attract.

6. The Sage

Just as the King can build Warriors, the Sage builds Kings.

These stages aren’t ones that guys take in order. Sometimes, a male can be thrusted into a stage they’re not ready for. When that happens, it’s almost impossible for them to do well in that spot as they haven’t earned it. This happens a lot when young males are made the head of the household when their father drops the ball. I know that’s what happened in my situation and I’m proud to say that going through Warrior stage is actually quite rewarding in itself. I thought school was my Warrior years. Nope – I’m starting to go through them now.

Thoughts?

So there you have it. I’m curious as to your thoughts of why we have so many lost men today. Is it because they haven’t gone through a stage of manhood? Do you know any guys who this might benefit from this knowledge? Feel free to pass it along!!

O Me! O Life!

 BY WALT WHITMAN

Oh me! Oh life! of the questions of these recurring,

Of the endless trains of the faithless, of cities fill’d with the foolish,

Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?)

Of eyes that vainly crave the light, of the objects mean, of the struggle ever renew’d,

Of the poor results of all, of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me,

Of the empty and useless years of the rest, with the rest me intertwined,

The question, O me! so sad, recurring—What good amid these, O me, O life?

                                       Answer.

That you are here—that life exists and identity,

That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.

"The Crises of the Masculine"

The Crisis of the Masculine by Robert Moore

During a Bill Moyers PBS interview with Robert Bly, a young man asked the question, "Where are the initiated men of power today?" We are facing a crisis in masculine identity of vast proportions. Increasingly, observers of the contemporary scene– sociologists, anthropologists and depth psychologists– are discovering the devastating dimensions of this phenomenon, which affects each of us personally as much as it affects our society as a whole.



We can look at family systems and see the breakdown of the traditional family. More and more families display the sorry fact of the disappearing father. This disappearance, through either emotional or physical abandonment, or both, wreaks psychological devastation on the children of both sexes. The weak or absent father cripples both his daughters’ and his sons’ ability to achieve their own gender identity and to relate in an intimate and positive way with members both of their own sex and the opposite sex.



But it is our belief and experience that we can’t just point in any simple way to the disintegration of modern family systems, important as this is, to explain the crisis in masculinity. We have to look at two other factors that underlie this very disintegration.



First we need to take very seriously the disappearance of ritual processes for initiating boys into manhood. In traditional societies there are standard definitions of what makes up what we call Boy Psychology and Man Psychology. This can be seen clearly in the tribal societies that have come under the careful scrutiny of such noted anthropologists as Arnold van Gennp and Victor Turner. There are rituals for helping the boys of the tribe make the transition to manhood. Over the centuries of civilization in the West, almost all of these ritual processes have been abandoned or have been diverted into narrower and less energized channels– into pheno-mena we can call pseudo-initiations.



We can point to the historic background for the decline of ritual initiation. The Protestant Reformation and the Enlightenment were strong movements that shared the theme of the discrediting of ritual process. And once ritual as a sacred and transforming process has been discredited, what we are left with is what Victor Turner has called "mere ceremonial," which does not have the power necessary to achieve genuine transformation of consciousness. By disconnecting from ritual we have done away with the processes by which both men and women achieved their gender identity in a deep, mature and life-enhancing way.



What happens to a society if the ritual processes by which these identities are formed become discredited? In the case of men, there are many who either had no initiation into manhood or who had pseudo-initiations that failed to evoke the needed transition into adulthood. We get the dominance of Boy psychology. Boy psychology is everywhere around us, and its marks are easy to see. Among them are abusive and violent acting-out behaviors against others, both men and women; passivity and weakness, the inability to act effectively and creatively in one’s own life and to engender life and creativity in others (both men and women); and, often, an oscillation between the two– abuse/weakness, abuse/weakness.



Along with the breakdown of meaningful ritual process for masculine initiation, a second factor seems to be contributing to the dissolution of mature masculine identity. This factor, shown to us by one strain of feminist critique, is called patriarchy. Patriarchy is the social and cultural organization that has ruled our Western world, and much of the rest of the globe, from at least the second millennium BCE to the present. Feminists have seen how male dominance in patriarchy has been oppressive and abusive of the feminine– of both the so-called feminine characteristics and virtues and of actual women themselves. In their radical critique of patriarchy, some feminists conclude that masculinity in its roots is essentially abusive, and that connection with "eros"– with love, relatedness and gentleness– comes only from the feminine side of the human equation.



As useful as some of these insights have been to the cause of both feminine and masculine liberation from patriarchal stereotypes, we believe there are serious problems with this perspective. In our view, patriarchy is not the expression of deep and rooted masculinity, for truly deep and rooted masculinity is not abusive. Patriarchy is the expression of the immature masculine. It is the expression of Boy psychology, and in part, the shadow– or crazy– side of masculinity. It expresses the stunted masculine, fixated at immature levels.



Patriarchy, in our view, is an attack on masculinity in its fullness as well as femininity in its fullness. Those caught up in the structures and dynamics of patriarchy seek to dominate not only women but men as well. Patriarchy is based on fear– the boy’s fear, the immature masculine’s fear– of women, to be sure, but also fear of men. Boys fear women. They also fear real men.



The patriarchal male does not welcome the full masculine development of his sons or his male subordinates any more than he welcomes the full development of his daughters, or his female employees. This is the story of the superior at the office who can’t stand it that we are as good as we are. How often we are envied, hated and attacked in direct and passive-aggressive ways even as we seek to unfold who we really are in all our beauty, maturity, creativity and generativity! The more beautiful, competent and creative we become, the more we seem to invite the hostility of our superiors, or even of our peers. What we are really being attacked by is the immaturity in human beings who are terrified of our advances on the road toward masculine or feminine fullness of being.



The drug dealer, the ducking and diving political leader, the wife beater, the chronically "crabby" boss, the unfaithful husband, the indifferent graduate student school advisor, the "holier than thou" minister, the gang member, the father who can never find time to attend his daughter’s school programs, the coach who ridicules his star athletes, the therapist who unconsciously attacks his clients’ "shining" and seeks some kind of gray normalcy for them, the yuppie– all these men have something in common. They are all boys pretending to be men. They got that way honestly, because nobody showed them what a mature man is like. Their kind of "manhood" is a pretense of manhood that goes largely undetected by most of us. We are continually mistaking this man’s controlling, threatening and hostile behaviors as strength. In reality, he is showing an underlying extreme vulnerability and weakness, the vulnerability of a wounded boy.



The devastating fact is that most men are fixated at an immature level of development. These early developmental levels are governed by the inner blueprints appropriate to boyhood. When they are allowed to rule what should be adulthood, when the archetypes of boyhood are not built upon and transcended by the Ego’s appropriate accessing of the archetypes of mature masculinity, they cause us to act out of our hidden (to us, but seldom to others) boyishness.

Joseph Campbell, in his last book, The Inner Reaches of Outer Space, called for a worldwide awakening to a kind of initiation that would become a rallying point for a deepened human sense of responsibility and maturity. Initiation, as we talk about it, is really a matter of exploring the outer reaches of inner space. We wish to add our voices to those of the many men throughout history who, against enormous odds, through their lives and through their teachings, have called for an end to the reign of the Lord of the Flies– the apocalyptic fantasy of the end of the world in a final display of infantile rage. If contemporary men can take the task of their own initiation from Boyhood to Manhood as seriously as did their tribal forebears, then we may witness the end of the beginning of our species, instead of the beginning of the end. We may pass between the clashing Scylla and Charybdis of our grandiosity and our chauvinistic tribalism and move beyond them into a future as wonderful and generative as any depicted in myth and legend. 

Our effectiveness in meeting these challenges is directly related to how we as individual men meet the challenges of our own immaturity. How well we transform ourselves from men living our lives under the power of Boy psychology to real men guided by the archetypes of Man psychology will have a decisive effect on the outcome of our present world situation.



Excerpted with permission from King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine, Harper San Francisco, 1990.
Robert Moore, Ph.D., is internationally recognized as one of the foremost psychotherapists specializing in work with men, and is the co-author of a series of books on the mature masculine archetypes as well as The Archetype of Initiation. He can be reached at (773) 288-7474 or www.robertmoore-phd.com. Robert will be presenting along with Robert Bly, John Lee, Jeffrey Duvall and others at the 9th Annual Mentone Men’s Conference, Nov. 1-3 in Mentone, AL. Call Tim Schaller for info at (828) 891-3714.

Quote "It's not the critic who counts..."

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

― Theodore Roosevelt

"Your Core Passions"

Published on Ransomed Heart Ministries (http://www.ransomedheart.com (http://www.ransomedheart.com)) Home (/) > Your Core Passions

YOUR CORE PASSIONS

A battle to fight.
An adventure to live. A beauty to rescue.

These are the core desires panting deep in the heart of every man. From the Amazon to Parliament, from the academy to the factory, these desires are universal, true for every man. And they are essential in order to live life as a man; they provide the power for his life. Misplaced, forgotten, or misdirected, they do not go away; they go underground and surface later in anger, addiction, compulsion. You pay a high price when you neglect these desires.
A Battle to Fight
Every boy knows he is made for battle, and he longs to be the mighty hero. Give him a cape, a sword, a light saber and he comes alive in a world of Jedi knights, superheroes, snowball fights, and “what can we blow up next?” But of course—man is made in the image of a Warrior God: “The Lord is a warrior, the Lord is his name” (Exodus 15:3). God himself is a warrior. And we are made to be like him. Thus every man needs a battle to fight. But in order to fight for his life, his marriage, his children, his dreams, his integrity, a man must first get his heart back as a warrior (http://ransomedheart.com/story/real-men/becoming-warrior).
An Adventure to Live
Ask men about the greatest moments in their lives—moments they felt truly alive. They will always tell stories of adventure. That motorcycle trip to Burma, rafting the Colorado, a night on the open sea. That’s why the heart of a man slowly dies when chained to a desk, an assembly line, or a cell phone. And that’s also why every time God gets hold of a man in the biblical record, he takes him into high stakes adventure. Abraham, Moses, David; Peter, Matthew, Paul—all swept up into great adventures by the wild design of God. Christianity is not an invitation to be a really nice guy; it is an invitation into a Larger Story (http://ransomedheart.com/story/larger-story/story-you-fell-into) in which you play a decisive role.

A Beauty to Rescue
It’s hard to think of a classic men’s movie that doesn’t have a “rescue the beauty” scene—and the romantic “thank you” that follows! Nothing can get our attention like a beautiful woman. Again, God made us this way. Back in the beginning of our story, Eve was created from Adam’s side—and none of us have recovered from the surgery. Men are haunted by the Beauty. Where the confusion begins is when we turn to the woman not to offer our strength, but rather looking to her for our validation. Certain disaster follows. Learning to fight for the Beauty is not only one of man’s core passions, it is one of life’s greatest joys. 

55. A Psalm of Life

55. A Psalm of Life

What the Heart of the Young Man Said to the Psalmist

TELL me not, in mournful numbers,
Life is but an empty dream!—
For the soul is dead that slumbers,
And things are not what they seem.
Life is real! Life is earnest!	5
And the grave is not its goal;
Dust thou art, to dust returnest,
Was not spoken of the soul.
Not enjoyment, and not sorrow,
Is our destined end or way;	10
But to act, that each to-morrow
Find us farther than to-day.
Art is long, and Time is fleeting,
And our hearts, though stout and brave,
Still, like muffled drums, are beating	15
Funeral marches to the grave.
In the world's broad field of battle,
In the bivouac of Life,
Be not like dumb, driven cattle!
Be a hero in the strife!	20
Trust no Future, howe'er pleasant!
Let the dead Past bury its dead!
Act,—act in the living Present!
Heart within, and God o'erhead!
Lives of great men all remind us	25
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sands of time;
Footprints, that perhaps another,
Sailing o'er life's solemn main,	30
A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,
Seeing, shall take heart again.
Let us, then, be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,	35
Learn to labor and to wait. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Men, Do These Things

by Stephen Mansfield | Oct 5, 2014 | Do Manly Things | 6 comments

• Stop talking so much about being a man.
• Turn to a man you trust and say, “I want to be a better man. Help me.”
• Create a “free fire zone” with five other men. Anything they need to say to make you better, they must say. You too.
• Do something physically challenging every day.
• Stop expecting to understand your wife. You never will. That’s what’s exciting.
• Get on your knees and ask God to make you the man he wants you to be.
• Write down what you are responsible for. Then, make it all as good as you can.
• Get into the wild for a few days twice a year.
• Look at yourself naked in the mirror. Keep looking. Is this who you really are? Fix it.
• Think of the best thing you can say about everyone who has wronged you. Say it out loud.
• Say something soul-igniting to each of your children as often as possible. Don’t be dramatic about this.
• Turn off the TV. Chase your wife.
• Eating is not a hobby. Eat less. Until there is something to celebrate. Then, eat huge.
• If married, stop masturbating. It’s an excuse not to win your wife. Go win your wife.
• If single, win a woman. Don’t sleep with her. Treat her well. Enjoy her mystery. End it when it’s over. Or marry her. She should remember you until the day she dies.
• Heal up with your father–whether he is dead or alive.
• Spend time and money on your mother regularly.
• Find people who know what you don’t know and get them to teach you.
• Master man skills: shaving, shoe shining, grooming, tying ties (4 knots), car maintenance, self-defense, dancing, manners, budgeting, investing, ….
• Stop having a “date night” with your wife. It’s insulting. Pursue her. Win her heart. Find out what makes her happy. Make her happy. Surprise her. Spend on her. Bed her. Bed her again. Take her away to somewhere romantic. Send her away with friends. You pay and stay home. Make peace with her family. Teach the kids to honor her. Defend her against enemies visible and invisible. Be crazy about her. Stop having “date night.” It’s insulting.
• Be generous.
• Dump destructive friends. Find noble friends. Make each other better. And laugh yourselves to death along the way.
• Invest in a boy.
• Get your money in order. Save. Invest. Be ready for emergencies. Be generous.
• If married, stop flirting around. It’s a lie. It’s also a pitiful substitute for winning your wife. Get to it.
• Fix everything that needs fixing in your house. If you can’t, find someone who can. Be responsible.
• Stop talking so much about being a man.
• Knock down the walls between you and your children. Win them. Teach them. Discipline them.
• Take your 12-14 year old son on a long trip, just the two of you. Talk about everything. Everything! Be rowdy. Achieve something. Laugh. Stay up all night. Swim naked. Eat crap food. Beat on each other. What happens on man trip stays on man trip. No talking about it.
• Have dates with your little girl. When she has dates of her own, be aware. Meet the boy. Be awake when she comes home. Involve him/her in fun—not boring—family events. Pay for some fun dates. Trust, but not too much. Be on top of this. Make your daughter feel like a princess who ought not give herself cheaply. Be such a man in her life you make it hard for her to find a husband as good. Tell her that’s what you’re doing. Laugh a lot.
• Read poetry.
• Watch man movies and figure out why they are man movies. Discern lessons. Live them.
• Set rules about cell phones and social media. Not at the table. Not at family time. Live it first. Then expect it. Throw a misbehaving phone or two in the toilet. Make the point.
• Someone in your life is good at all this if you aren’t. Get help. Grow. You can do this.
• Clean up your language. You sound like an idiot.
• Have a weapon in your house. Know how to use it. Store it safely. Practice once a year.
• Find a sport.
• If you’re older, get your testosterone checked.
• Have life insurance for your family.
• If single, date often, sanely, morally and gloriously. Have fun. Don’t talk her to death. Learn about women. Don’t sleep with them. Keep that for “the one.” Find the one.
• If you drink, drink sanely. Don’t mistake drinking for some essential skill of manhood.
• If you smoke cigars, smoke sanely. Don’t mistake cigars for some essential skill of manhood.
• Don’t smoke cigarettes.
• Don’t bitch. Like your life. Change what you don’t like. Take control of yourself. Don’t bitch.
• Honor older men.
• Be part of a church or temple that encourages noble manhood.
• Rest from time to time.
• Cultivate a few good friends. Do life together. Get better together. Have fun.
• Practice good grooming. Remember, cologne doesn’t make you a man.
• If married, learn how to be better at sex. Talk to your wife. Shut up. Learn. Get better. Be happy.
• Learn to cook a bit. Cook things. Cook things for your wife. Cook better. Clean up afterward.
• Send flowers.
• Dress well. Not rich, just well. Get help if you need it. Be the best you can be.
• Stop being a slob. Clean up your stuff.
• Stop watching porn and strippers. Stop playing with yourself. Control yourself until you marry a good woman. Once you marry her, stop having digital mini-affairs with some plasticized slut you’ll never meet. It’s ruining you.
• Travel. See more of the world than you live in. Reflect on what you see.
• Serve the needy regularly. Do it quietly. Do it anonymously if you can. Do it with your trusted friends if possible. Do more as you have more.
• Stop lying. The truth about you is enough. Tell the truth. Insist on it with others. Stop lying.
• Read a book a month—at the least. Find books you love. Find books you need to help you do what a man does. Don’t worry about the great literature. You’ll get there when you’re ready.
• Take a vitamin for men.
• Ask God to make you equal to your destiny.
• Watch sports. Enjoy. Don’t mistake watching for doing. Do sports. Enjoy.
• There are many different kinds of men. Be your kind. Be your kind of a great man.
• Stop talking so much about being a man.
• No, your best friends can’t be women. What are you thinking? Have female friends. Have closer male friends. Don’t lie to yourself about which is which.
• Relax. Trust God. Learn some jokes. Take it one day at a time. Breathe. Rest.
• Stop selling yourself. Just be, and be good. People will know. Stop selling yourself.
• Real men cry. Don’t sweat it if you do. Get help if you can’t.
• Celebrate the achievements of women.
• Stop talking about yourself so much.
• Anger masks hurt. Discover the hurt. Know it. Feel it. Stop hiding behind anger.
• Know a bit about meat, wine, beer, liquor, politics, sports, news, stars, clouds, art and music.
• Do good work. Be thankful for a job. Get better. Change jobs when it’s right. Be grateful.
• Have a hobby.
• Have goals. Make lists. Pursue goals. Don’t be driven. Trust God.
• Don’t be bitter. Bitterness feeds entitlement. Entitlement leads to misbehavior. Misbehavior leads to destruction. Don’t be bitter.
• Live big. Live happy. Live passionate. Live generous. Live loving. Live manly.

_____________

Written by Stephen Mansfield, author of Mansfield’s Book of Manly Men. 

"Manly Men"

Why I Wrote Manly Men

by Stephen Mansfield | Apr 25, 2014 | Integrity, Legacy | 0 comments

My new book, Mansfield’s Book of Manly Men, has just been released and it is getting a lot of attention. Glenn Beck read from the book on his show today and urged his audience to get it and give it. The Washington Times just came out with a positive review. Bloggers are extolling it and in the next few weeks I’ll be discussing it on numerous national shows.

I’m grateful for it all. Still, I won’t be satisfied with just another successful book. That sounds awfully arrogant, I imagine. What I mean is that while I want the book to sell and sell big—frankly, I want every man in the world to read this book—I’m actually hoping for a movement. I want men everywhere to start being the kind of men, creating the kind of culture, and having the kind of impact I describe in the book. Sales are part of this. May they soar! But sales aren’t my ultimate goal.

I wrote this book for some very specific reasons. Here they are.

First, I have a son. He’s fighting to be an exceptional man in an age that doesn’t make it easy. The book is for him.

Second, I have a daughter. She’ll likely date and eventually marry a fine young man. The book is for him.

Third, I spend time with a lot of young “Millennial” men. Society says they are narcissistic girly men. I don’t think so. I think they could be our greatest generation yet. The book is for them.

Fourth, I do a great deal of leadership coaching. Much of what I help fix is the impact of flawed versions of manhood on young executives who want to be great men. The book is for them.

Fifth, I help leaders address social problems. Many of those social problems exist because too many men aren’t true men. Instead they are childish, irresponsible, ruled by their crotches, abusive, addicted and dead inside. The book is for them.

Sixth, I’ve had the privilege of knowing some great and heroic men—men who have made me want to be more than I am. Some are generals and some are NAVY Seals. Some are doctors or lawyers. Some are paraplegics who take the bus to work every morning. Some work at the Y and some run the family store. They inspire me. They make me keep going. The book is for them.

Seventh, I love the women in my life. I love my daughter and her rowdy, brilliant friends. I love my son’s girlfriend. I’m moved by the gifted professional women I get to work with and the strong, smart, hilarious women my wife has befriended. Then, of course, there is my love for Bev. All of these represent to me the billions of women worldwide who deserve to have in their lives loving, devoted, righteous men who respect them and help them soar. The book is for them.

Be part of this. The book is also for you.