Anger vs. Rage (www.michaelsamsel.com)

Rage	True Anger
Is associated with muscle tension, pounding heart, rapid and shallow breathing, pale skin, tunnel vision, and less coherent memory (sympathetic nervous system activation)	Is associated with even smooth movement, deeper breathing, warm feeling in the skin, focused vision, and clear memory (parasympathetic nervous system activation)
Is usually a response to a threat to our self-image or our power	A healing and protective response to a threat to our physical or emotional integrity
Is out of proportion to the provocation	Is in proportion to the provocation
Persists long after the provocation ends. (Once adrenaline hits the bloodstream, its effects persist for 1-2 hours. Muscle tension also, without practice, cannot be reversed quickly)	Subsides quickly once the provocation ends. (This is a quality of the parasympathetic system)
Is meant to silence the other	Is meant to communicate with the other
Rage	True Anger
Blames the other for what one feels	Takes responsibility for this feeling as one's own
Is a last ditch effort to maintain control when other controlling tactics seem to be failing	Wants to engage the other person but not control them
Frightens the hearer	Informs the hearer and creates attention in the hearer
Is violent, aggressive, out of control, derisive, punitive	Is non-violent, always in control, and within safe limits
Represses the true feeling	Expresses an assertive response
Rage	True Anger
Is a strategy that makes a demand that the other change	Asks for change but understands it is up to the other to change or not
Tramples the other person’s feelings	Is meant to draw out the other person’s feelings
Creates stress because one's fear and defensiveness lock up energy	Releases the aliveness in one's true self
Is held onto and endures as resentment	Is brief and then let go of with a sense of pleasure
Insists the other see how justified one is	Needs no specific response. All responses are information
Based on a refusal to accept what has happened, and a denial of one’s present ability to make choices	Based on acceptance of what has happened and sees anger as part of one’s ability to make choices